Life with baby

Kelly's story


Adjusting to a new addition can and is a rough time. This is our second so it is doubly tough. We have to adjust ourselves and our son to the new baby. Adjusting myself meant a whole lot less sleep. Adjusting for my husband meant helping ou more and less viedo games. adjusting for our son meant sharing mommy and daddy, let me tell ya that's not going so good lately.
I have adjusted to the lack of sleep way better than I did with my son. I guess it is mainly cause I knew waht to expect the second time around. And trying to even out the time spent between both kids while still keeping my sanity.
My hubsand has been much better this time around in adjusting to the new baby. Even though this time he i not a huge fan of changing diapers or giving baths he still helps out alot. he spends alot of time just talking to the baby and holding her, or spending time with our son so I can tend to the baby.
Our son was adjust well to his little sister up until 2 weeks ago. He has gotten jelious more here lately. He is wanting all the attention and hate it when we give her any. So when we figure out how to re-adjust him I will let ya'll know lol.


Sarah's story

Adjusting…

I hear it all the time: "So how's parenting life treating you?  How have you adjusted?"  The first one is the easiest to answer because the adjusting still isn't over, it changes every day.  So let's start with the easiest =)

I love being a new mom!  I was so afraid that it wouldn't come natural to me, or that the horror stories I heard were true: that I wasn't ever going to get my husband to myself anymore, I would no longer get sleep and have to maneuver throughout the tired exhausted, having to cope with a crying baby, or that it would be nothing but dirty diapers and laundry from here on out.  That's enough to scare any 21 year old (20 when I found out I was pregnant) newlywed.  I was afraid that I wouldn't be able to do it and would eventually just lose my mind.  But here I am, four months later, well rested, mind fully intact, and with a smile on my face.  I couldn't be happier with my life.  There really isn't anything that I don't like about being a mother (other than listening to people tell me how wrong I am).  Yes, there is more laundry, but it's really not all that bad.  I have always had a lot of laundry to do between my husband and I, so a few more loads a week isn't that bad. I knew it was coming since I chose to cloth diaper my son, but thankfully I never have to fold or sort those, just throw them in the unused crib, ha ha.  When it comes to time with my husband, well I have just learned to value my time with him more than ever.  He has picked up a few more responsibilities at work, so it's not only the baby that had restricted our time together.  He is up and out of the house before I wake up, and gets home usually around 4:30 pm.  Even when he is home he may have some things he needs to sort out for the next day. Then we are in bed by 8 to put the baby in bed so Blake can be asleep by 9.  To help make things easier on Blake, since he has so much going on at work, and he is still adjusting from coming home from his deployment, we have arranged a routine for taking care of the baby.  Monday through Friday basically the baby is mine.  I do all the diaper changes and take care of him.  When Blake gets home, as long as he doesn't have anything pressing that needs to be done, he will spend some time with Alexander and play with him and things like that.  He is still learning how to do all the dad things because he just got back less than a month ago from a 7 week deployment, and when he left, Alexander was still a tiny 1 1/2 month old.  And on the weekends we alternate diaper changes and we both take care of Alexander.  It sounds a lot worse than it really is.  Sometimes it can get frustrating, but I just have to remind myself that my husband has a lot of things going on at work and he does deserve a break when he gets home.  It's not like he never takes care of his son, it's just not as much as I do.  But that is to be expected when I am breastfeeding and he is sleeping next to me when it's time for bed, so naturally he is more bonded with me.  When he gets upset it is easier for me to soothe him and calm him down.  I have a real mama’s boy on my hands.  But that's ok with me =)

In all reality it has been a lot easier than I had imagined.  Yes, I have to work my schedule around my son now, and impulse outings are rare now, but there really isn't much that we cannot do now.  We still go to the movies, just not the loud action ones.  We still go to the beach, driving around the island, and anything else.  But now every time we do these things we are told how cute and wonderful our little chubby son is =)

But more than anything, I love how it has changed me.  I do not feel older, but I feel more strong and wise as a woman.  It has given me a reason to look up things that I thought I would never have any interest in and made me more passionate.  People always ask me why I care what someone else does with their children, but that's just it.  It is because I do care.  What if my sister had never asked me about circumcision?  I shudder to think that I would have had a part of my sons penis chopped off without even researching it.  And with breastfeeding, of course I want every child to be breastfed, they deserve nothing but the best and women need to be taught the risks of formula feeding instead of just the benefits of breastfeeding.  I never thought I would care about these things the way that I do, but now it is a part of my every day routine.  With each new person that I meet I find myself talking about these topics, trying to spread the word.  I no longer just read books like Eragon and Harry Potter.  I am buying books about vaccines and circumcision, highlighting the important parts and taking notes.  I am self educating in the hopes that one day I can help others and make it easier on them so they don't have to spend the months researching all over the place like I have.  And this is all thanks to my son.

As for my husband, he is adjusting as well as to be expected.  Obviously he doesn't find everything that the baby does as cute and fascinating like I do, but when he notices the new things, he is sure to brag about it.  I remember him telling me not to expect him to talk to Alexander in a high pitched voice, but guess what?  He sure does!  And it is adorable!  I love watching the two of them together.  When Blake first got home from deployment, Alexander would hardly look at him, but now he is all smiles and giggles for daddy, and I can tell how happy it makes him.  Now he is even able to put him down for naps, which is a HUGE accomplishment.  He gets a little more frustrated than I do when the baby is a little upset because he is still learning all of his different noises and "cries" for what he wants, but he is getting there.   I would bet a million dollars that he would never change another diaper if he had the choice, but he does and he plays with him every time he changes him.  Even if he is dry heaving when it's a massive poopy one (even though they don't smell that bad, in my opinion lol).   I had to show him how to use the cloth diapers when he got home, but he is a pro now.  Although he still isn't comfortable enough to watch him for long periods of time, I know that it won't be long until he is.  Especially now that Alexander is getting to where he is playing a lot more with toys and anything he can grab.  He is no longer the boring sleepy newborn (even though I could have stared at him for hours).  Every day things are getting easier on him and as long as he is learning at his own pace, that works for both of us.

As for Alexander… oh, where to start?  He is now 16 lbs, and 24 1/2 inches long.  Talk about chubby monster.  He looks a lot fatter than he really is, but that's ok.  He is talking all the time and loves to tell me his life story when he is nursing.  He is a little giggle fest and loves to smile and flirt at the ladies.  Everything that I have that is in reach of him is now his.  He loves sitting in his bumbo and playing with his toys.  It's good to finally see him grabbing at things and batting at everything, even if it is our faces =/  And he loves to gag himself repeatedly with his fingers.  I try to tell him that it's not healthy, but he just smiles, giggles like it's no big deal and proceeds to gag himself some more.  He can sit up on his own for a few seconds, and if I am holding his hips steady than he can sit like that as long as he is happy. It’s the same thing with him standing.  He has stood on his own for a few seconds, but his toes are still curled up so obviously he cannot stay up for long.  However, as long as I am holding him he loves to stand.  If I try to sit him down, he makes his legs stiff and stands right up.  Stubborn little guy, ha ha.  Diaper changes are getting harder and harder now since he is learning how to roll over.  Constantly arching his back and throwing his legs around trying to get mobile.  I should probably give him more tummy time since I only give him about 30 minutes a week, but I refuse to let him stay down on the ground if he isn't happy.  He sure loves to play airplane with me =)  He is so good at holding his head up when he is either sitting or laying down, but he mostly enjoys eating the play mat we bought him.  In all reality he enjoys eating everything he can lol.  I believe he has started to teeth as well.  So I bought him an amber teething necklace and so far it has helped a lot.  He isn't as grumpy as he was, and his drool isn't as bad all the time.  Sometimes he is a bit more drooly and grumpy than normal, but I didn't expect the necklace to work 100%, so I will take what it's doing for him.  He still wakes frequently during the night to eat, but sometimes he will let me sleep for about 4 hours which is always a nice treat. He has started trying to protest being put in his car seat.  Sometimes he will cry when I put him in it and I just have to take him back out and calm him down before we are ready to go.  I just refuse to keep driving when he is crying, so it's been a little stressful for my husband having to pull over when he is having a fit.  But one good thing has come from it; I have mastered breastfeeding him while in the car.  I bet it's an interesting site for the people passing me.  I bet it looks like I am trying to smuggle my child with my breast!  Ha ha!  He is a great baby.  Still a very happy baby too!  Other than his car seat protests, he is still rarely fussy.  I guess I just got lucky, or I am just doing something right ;-)

It's time for a change, a diaper change that is...

Baby in disposable diaper

Baby in cloth diaper

Sarah's story:

DIAPERS

Ohhhh the wonderful world of diapers! One of the many things that parents dread, especially the wonderful fathers out there. The hassle of changing the baby also comes with the hassle of having to buy diapers so frequently you are almost positive someone is stealing them. Surely this baby doesn't go through this many diapers, does it!? Well unfortunately, yes. They are eating, sleeping, and pooping/peeing machines and they are good at what they do. Most babies average about $80 to $130 in diapers a month (for those who don't get WIC or something similar)! That's about $1,600 to $2,300 by the time you little one is potty trained. They weren't lying when they said babies were expensive, huh? It's not a pleasant thought, that's for sure. But even more unpleasant at the time was my husband suggesting that we use cloth diapers. From what I knew about cloth diapers, which really wasn't much, was that they were a hassle to use, and leaked all the time. All I could think was of course he would want to use those; he probably won’t be changing any of them so he doesn't care how messy and ugly those things are! But then again, that was me judging a book by its cover. Once I found out how much diapers actually cost, cloth diapers didn't sound too bad, especially since he is the sole provider for our little family and anything I can do to help cut cost, I do.

So I started to do a little research about cloth diapers, not only did I find that they have come a LONG way since they first started, but they actually pose some health benefits, too! Here's a bit of what I found.

There are many pros and cons to each side. But here's a list for disposable:

PROS: 

Disposables are easy to use

You can just throw them away 

Good for traveling

Some say they leak less

CONS:

Way more expensive 

Bad for the environment

Makes potty training a bit harder since the toddler can't feel when he/she is wet

78% more diaper rash prone whereas babies who use cloth diapers are only 7%

The chemicals in disposables to make them absorbent has been link to toxic shock syndrome, can impair the hormonal system, and can cause liver disease, asthma, and UTI in baby girls.

Not only do they absorb the pee from your babies bottom, but also his/her natural moisture making the skin more dry.

And here are the pros and cons to cloth diapers:

PROS

It's cheaper. Sure your first initial buy can be hefty (ranging from $200-$700, depending how what, and how many you get), but it's a one time buy that you can use for many children, not just one.

Less diaper rash and skin irritability.

Many places offer a diaper service that will wash your diapers for you. 

They are also easy to use.

Better for the environment

They grow with your child. 

Faster potty training.

A wide selection to fit your lifestyle.

CONS

You have to wash them

Once the baby starts pooping solid, you must toss the waste before you wash.

Not good for travel because you have to put it in a plastic bag when done.

Some daycares won't use them

Can leak if not used properly

If left on for too long, it can smell bad (but as long as you change them about every 2-3 hours you will be fine)

After doing my research, I ended up going with the bumGenius organic All in One (AIO) cloth diapers. I was hesitant at spending a little under $400 on only 18 diapers (the non organic ones are $100 less) but I figured it's worth a shot. But when my little man was born three weeks early he was simply too small for them. So for about two months I used organic and chlorine free disposable diapers. And once he got big enough, we began with the cloth ones I was so eager to use. Here are my experiences with both; 

Disposable -- I didn't mind the disposable, but within the first two weeks he got a mild diaper rash. Nothing too serious, so I just used a little breast milk (I swear it cures everything lol) and it cleared up by the end of the day. I had a few diapers leak on me, causing me to have to change the baby in the middle of the night when I wanted to be sleeping lol. And I found that the poo would stick to my baby’s bottom if I didn't change him soon after he pooped, leading to a lengthy diaper change, having to add a scrubbing to his bottom which made him very uncomfortable. And I didn’t like spending about $13 on a pack of 44 diapers at all. It just seemed like such a waste. By the end of it I just couldn't wait to try the cloth ones.

Cloth-- I absolutely love the cloth diapers. They are so easy to use. Instead of velcro straps, I got the ones that have buttons that are really easy to snap on. And when it comes to leaks, they have leaked just the same as disposables, it just depends on how well you put a diaper on your baby. Diaper changes are much quicker because everything is still moist, it just wipes right off. And when it comes to laundry, I was expecting to do laundry every day, but with the cloth diapers I only have a load every two to three days. I have been pleasantly surprised. Sometimes I am able to smell when his diaper is dirty, but I don't think that is something to complain about because it allows me to change him when he needs it, instead of him sitting in it for hours (I know I would hate being left in my own pee or poop for longer than necessary) If I know that I am going to be out for more than two hours I will use a disposable diaper (organic and chlorine free) just for convenience, but if it's just a quick trip then I will stick with the cloth ones. The only thing I don't like about the cloth diapers is how easy they stain, but I would take the stain over spending a lot on something I am just going to throw away. They may look a little bulky on the baby, but they don't affect how his clothes fit at all.

So all in all, less than $400 later, and I won’t have to buy anymore diapers for a long time, if at all. I am glad that I go to see both sides of the diaper world, but for me the cloth diapers win by far. They are just as easy as disposable, and just as effective =) but once again, it's a personal choice to whatever fits your lifestyle.

Here's the link to the site I purchased my diapers from.

http://www.thanksmama.com/

Here is the link to the exact diapers I purchased.

http://www.thanksmama.com/bumGenius_Organic_One_Size_Cloth_Diaper_Package_18_p/bmg-0015.htm

Here is a link with a little but more info and a review about them =)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fcGQrFoTZ3o

And here is a link all about cloth diaper basics.

http://www.cottonbabies.com/clothdiapers.php

What happened to my little baby?  He used to be so tiny, I was sure I was going to break him.  But now, I swear he is a little fatty.  He was born 6 lbs 2 oz and 18 inches long, and at 11 weeks old weighed in at a little under 13 lbs and was 23 1/2 inches long.  He is such a little bundle of joy though.  The first thing in the morning he greets me with a huge smile and if he is really happy to see me, a very cute giggle =).  All in all he is doing very well.  He is pretty much always happy, I'd say about 95% of the time, and he has never cried for more than a minute straight (besides for when he had a little stuffy nose and we had to use that horrible sucky thing to get the snot out.  He hated that. lol)  The only time he is ever fussy is if he doesn't get fed quick enough, if he has a tummy ache, or if he is just bored of what he was doing.  He is doing really well on his developmental milestones, being able to hold his head steady for longer periods of time, smiling when prompted, laughing, getting more control over his movements, etc.  Since he was born three weeks before his due date, his adjusted age would be three weeks less than his birth age, so it's ok if he is behind on anything. But so far, the only thing that some sites say he should be doing but hasn't yet is notice his hands.  I've seen him look at them once, but other than that I am pretty sure he is still oblivious to the fact that those are really his =) He is 13 weeks old, but his adjusted age is 10 weeks.  For a 10 week old he is right on track, and he can do about 95% of the things that a 13 weeks old should.  It is really nice to sit here and watch him grow and learn about the world around him.  I try to show him as much as I can, but since it's just me at the house, sometimes I worry that he isn't getting enough exposure to everything that he should.  But as far as I can tell, he is doing just fine.  I really couldn't ask for a better baby.

Looking forward to bedtime?

Co-sleeping

Crib sleeping

Kelly's story


Sleeping babies we all love them. They are so cute and precoius looking while the snooze happily. But if you have fussy babies you just like the quite time you get lol. I don't have a sleep schedual or schedual at all really for my kids lol. I probally should but it works for us.
Kairi starts getting sleepy aroung 8-9 pm so she eats a bottle or bottle (5-6 ounces) and cereal depending on how hungary she is.Takes her about 20 minutes or so to eat. THen she lays in her swing for about 30 minutes to get asleep. Ever other day or so she get a bath and a massage to help her sleep better.

She just started sleeping in her crib at night she sleep till about 4-7 am depending on how loud daddy is when he wakes up and get ready for work.

She takes 2-4 naps a day about 30 mins to 2 hours all really depends on how tired she is.



BABY UPDATE!!!Kairi is 15 weeks now. She weighs around 15 pounds. And around 26 inches long I think. Haven't had a doctors appointment since 2 months except for her emergancy doctors appointment. Shes growing like a weed. I wish she would stay samll but I know that thats not going to happen lol.




Sarah's story

We've all heard it before: "Get your rest while you can because once that baby is born your sleeping is over!"  It was one of the things I just wasn't looking forward to with regards of becoming a new parent.  I love my sleep, love love love it!   During my pregnancy I could sleep up to 14 hours a day, and then still find time to squeeze in an afternoon nap.  So the idea of having to wake up every couple of hours to a crying baby just did not look like future fun to me.  I thought for sure that once the baby came I would constantly be tired, moody, and quite unpleasant to be around come morning.  And since I would be breastfeeding, I just knew that I would be very bitter towards my husband because I would be the one waking all hours of the night while he just slept the night away and woke up well rested.  I didn't want it to be like that, but everyone was telling me that this is how it would be and it's "normal".

But where would the baby actually be sleeping?  My husband and I were just not ok with putting him in a cage (a crib), something about it just didn't sit right with us. With how many recalls there are annually with cribs, and all the infants that die because of defects, we just didn't think that it was worth it. And we didn't want to buy a bassinet when he would just grow out of it within a few months time either.  So in the end, we just decided to get a baby mattress and place it on the floor next to our mattress (which is also on the floor).  

The first night in the hospital after Alexander arrived was really easy.  He didn't cry at all and  basically slept all night only waking to squirm and grunt, letting me know it was time to try and breastfeed him again.  I could hear all the other newborn babies in the hospital wing crying their tiny little heads off, but Alexander was just snoozing away.  I spent the majority of the time holding him and was very reluctant to put him down so I could sleep, but they were always reminding us that the baby is not to sleep with us, and to place him in the plastic container that would be his "bed" for the duration of the hospital stay.  I could not wait to get home so I could just be with my baby and my husband and not be under the ever watchful eye of the nurses.  After two long days, finally we were on our way home.

  When he was about three or four days old I woke up to him on his stomach after I had sputum down on his back.), so we decided to get a crib and try it out.  It went against everything we had agreed on in the beginning, but we thought we would just give it a shot, thinking that if we got a pretty decent crib then the risk of an injury would be slimmer than normal.  But man, what a change that made in my sleeping habits.  The first night in the crib was easy, but that didn't last long.  Now I had to wait for the baby to fall asleep (there's no way I could just let him lay there upset to "put himself to sleep"), put him in his crib, and then stay there with my hand over his chest until he fell into a deep enough sleep that I could go lay down.  When it was time to feed him, like usual he would wiggle and grunt to wake me up and let me know, but now I had to get out of bed, get him out of his crib (that was still in our room) and take him to my nursing chair and position him on the boppy.  Then I would be there for about 15 to 20 minutes holding the baby, trying not to fall asleep so he wouldn't roll off my lap, and then repeat the getting him to sleep routine.  I was very doubtful that this was going to work.  Then my husband left for deployment about a week after we got the crib, and after he left I just kept bringing the Alexander to bed with me.  It was just easier that way.  Not to mention that I have a huge fear of the night and needed someone in the bed to help me sleep.  I was getting more sleep then I ever had with him, and his sleeping patterns were the same as mine.  If I slept in until 2 pm, so did he.  And it just felt right to have him next to me.  So I decided to do some research on bed sharing to see if this was okay and to check to see if there was a safe or unsafe way to do it, and it turns out that not only is it ok, but it's potentially beneficial as well.  After sharing these things that I found with my husband, we both just decided that it was the best thing for our little family.  

The term co-sleeping refers to any situation in which a committed adult (usually the mother) sleeps within close proximity of an infant so that they can respond to each other’s sensory signals and cues.  You can either room-share, where the baby is in the same room as you, or bed-share (which is what I do), where the baby is in the same bed as you.  Room sharing is the least controversial kind and is always considered safe and is recommended by all.  Whereas bed-sharing can either be safe, or unsafe depending upon how it is practiced (will discuss later).  However, sleeping on the couch with your baby is considerably more dangerous because the infant can be smashed against the back of the couch by the adult, or even flipped face down into the pillows where the child will suffocate.

"Unfortunately, the terms co-sleeping, bed-sharing and a well-known dangerous form of co-sleeping, couch or sofa co-sleeping, are mostly used interchangeably by medical authorities, even though these terms need to be kept separate. It is absolutely wrong to say, for example, that “co-sleeping is dangerous” when room sharing is a form of co-sleeping and this form of co-sleeping (as at least three epidemiological studies show) reduce an infant’s chances of dying by one half."

( http://neuroanthropology.net/2008/12/21/cosleeping-and-biological-imperatives-why-human-babies-do-not-and-should-not-sleep-alone/   An excellent article, by the way)

  Here is a list of reasons why I let my son sleep in the bed with us, along with reasons why it can be beneficial;

1.)  It's how it is done in nature.  With my little family trying to be as close to how things are supposed to be in nature as much as possible, this just seems like the logical thing to do.  Our ancestors all slept with their young and breastfed them through the night, and we are still here.  And something about letting my baby sleep with me just feels right.

2.)  We all get more sleep.  As I mentioned before, with breastfeeding my son, all I have to do is offer him my breast and then we can both go back to sleep.  His needs are met before he feels stressed, so he never really wakes up.  Although my son feeds frequently during the nighttime, I will still tell anyone he sleeps through the night because in all reality, he never wakes up.  He grunts and wiggles a little, but as soon as that happens, I wake up, give him my breast, and fall back asleep.  Not once does he open his eyes.  I no longer wake up feeling as though I haven't been to sleep yet, and I find my day to be a lot more pleasant.  It also makes breastfeeding much easier, and promotes a mother to breastfeed longer.

3.)  Far less nighttime stress, making for a more peaceful, loving parent.  When I was using the crib, I just remember feeling so frustrated trying to get him to sleep on his own.  I would take it out on my husband and it would just cause silly, unnecessary fighting.  Once I started to share my bed with the baby I got more rest and was just a happier person in general.  I no longer feel any kind of aggravation towards the baby if he isn't falling asleep in his crib.  I hated when I had to put him to sleep after he ate and I would be so tired, but every time I would put him down he would wake right back up, and I would find myself feeling angry, wondering "why can't you just go to sleep so I can sleep?".  I feel bad looking back at it, it's not his fault.  He just wanted me to hold him.

4.)  I feel more bonded with my baby.  With less stress on me, I look forward to going to bed rather than dreading trying to get him to sleep.  Every night around 8:00 pm I get the baby ready for bed, we lay down, I nurse him until he is asleep, and that's that.  No trying to get him to fall asleep, he just does.  And you should see how happy he is when it comes to bed time.  I tell him it's time to change his diaper and get ready for bed and once we lay down he is kicking like crazy, giving me a huge smile cause he knows what is about to happen. He is going to be fed and held close to me while he drifts off to sleep. I value this time with him, and I love knowing that instead of having a fear of the night, he feels safe close to me.  In the morning when I wake up I will sit in bed next to him on the computer or eating breakfast or something until he wakes up (usually about an hour or two after me) and you should see his face light up when he sees me awake, ready to tell him good morning.  Nothing is better than that gummy grin.

5.)  It may help prevent sleep problems.  Most people think that letting a baby sleep in the bed with them will cause many sleep problems, but some would also say that is the opposite from the truth.  Many sleep issues come from trying to force children to sleep on their own.  Instead of dreading bedtime because of isolation and/or fear, the baby actually begins to look forward to it, thus avoiding bedtime battles.  Being cared for during the night as well as during the day gives the child a constant flow of love and support, instead of having to cope with feelings of fear, abandonment, and anger every night. 

6.)  Just like any other aspect of life, it is perfectly safe when practiced safely.  It also has some safety advantages over a crib.  Anytime you leave your child unattended there is a risk.  There is about 40-50 crib related deaths a year, with thousands of other serious injuries.  When you sleep with your child you become very attuned to them, and are able to respond very quickly if something is going wrong.  And nighttime danger is greatly reduced if the child is close by.  Every year children die from fires, are kidnapped, sexually abused, attacked by pets, suffocate after vomiting or choking, or die or are injured in other ways that could have been prevented if the parent had been nearby to help.   The only time suffocation is a real danger is if the infant is on a water bed or sleeping with a parent that is too intoxicated by drugs and/or alcohol to attend to a child's needs.  If a child is suffocating for any reason they are more likely to rouse a parent who is sleeping nearby than one who is sleeping in another room.  Just make sure that there aren't any blankets or pillows that can suffocate the baby.  Also, it isn't advisable to let the baby sleep in the same bed with a parent who smokes.  The Academy of Breast Feeding Medicine, the USA Breast Feeding Committee, the Breast Feeding section of the American Academy of Pediatrics, La Leche League International, UNICEF and WHO are all prestigious organizations who support bed sharing when practiced safely.  Of course you will hear of infant deaths that occur while co-sleeping, but they never really tell you how the baby died, and where.  Were they practicing it safely?  Were they on a couch?  On average, about 60 infants deaths occur in adult beds, but what they fail to tell parents is that many of these deaths occurred while the baby was sleeping alone in the bed, without any supervision.  So it is very biased (and not scientifically backed) to tell mothers that they should not sleep in the same bed as their babies, that would be like telling a mother that she should never drive with her child in the car because some mothers don't install the car seat correctly, don't buckle their child in, or (God forbid) drink and drive. That's not even mentioning how many automobile accidents occur annually because of another driver, regardless of how safe you are.  You get the point.

7.)  The highest rates of bed sharing worldwide occur alongside the lowest rates of infant mortality, including SIDS.  This shocked me because everyone always told me that letting the baby sleep with me could cause SIDS.  But once I dug a little deeper it occurred to me that maybe they were confusing SIDS with suffocation?  I can see where the parent could potentially roll over on the infant, or cover it with a blanket or pillow, but cause it to die for no reason? Take Japan for instance.  It is a cultural norm to breast feed and co-sleep, and they have the lowest rates of SIDS in the entire world (not to mention that they delay all routine vaccines until the age of 2 and they banned the MMR vaccine in 1993 after 1.8 million children had been given two types of MMR and a record number developed non-viral meningitis and other adverse reactions.)  How can co-sleeping reduce the risk of SIDS?  When a mother and infant sleep together, their sleep cycles, breathing patterns and heart rates move in sync with each other.  Many people will argue that an infant is meant to sleep with its mother because it's neurological system is still immature and gaps in breathing are normal during the early months of a child's life, and the mothers breathing provides important cues to the infant, reminding it to take a breath.  For all my breastfeeding mothers out there, we've already discussed how breastfeeding reduces the risk of SIDS in my previous blog, but when you sleep close to your baby, s/he will wake more frequently to feed, thus reducing the risk of SIDS even further.  (So it's a given that co-sleeping also promotes breastfeeding)  Here is a fact sheet on Co-sleeping and SIDS;

 http://thebabybond.com/Cosleeping&SIDSFactSheet.html

8.) It's great for helping the working parent to find more time to bond with their baby.

9.)  Some studies have shown that routinely sharing a bed in infancy has been associated with higher self esteem among children, greater self reliance, fewer temper tantrums, and greater independence.  Whereas children who didn't co-sleep tended to be harder to control, were less happy, and were more fearful.  Here is a site with some studies on people who had co-slept compared to those who had not;

http://www.nd.edu/~jmckenn1/lab/longterm.html

So this is how it is with my family.  We all sleep together and we love it.  And when we have more kids, they will also sleep with us until they decide other wise.  The only time he doesn't sleep with us is during his naps, and then he is usually in his swing or in my lap (or in the Moby wrap, depending on if I was carrying him when he went down)  He still takes a nap every two or so hours and they usually last about and hour and a half.

  I know that co-sleeping, however practiced, may not be for everyone.  A lot of parents are turned off by the idea of sharing the bed with their kids because they think that it will inhibit their sex life and cause intimacy problems.  Rest assured that me and my husband still have sex, and we are very intimate.  The bed is not the only place to have sex people.  My love life is still the same as it was before Alexander was born.  And I find myself happier than I ever have been.  We may have wasted over $300 on a crib, but it makes a great place to store laundry I have yet to fold, and it is awesome for holding all the cloth diapers ;-)  But I encourage everyone to research co-sleeping and possibly try it out.  I have presented plenty of links throughout this blog and there are more at the end, but feel free to do your own independent research.  As with every aspect of parenting, I find it very hard to just "take the doctors word" on anything. 

http://www.wearsthebaby.com/articles/tenreasonssleep.html

http://www.naturalchild.org/jan_hunt/familybed.html

http://arubanbreastfeedingmamas.blogspot.com/2009/12/complexity-of-parent-child-cosleeping.html

http://www.phdinparenting.com/2009/01/09/cosleeping-benefits/

http://www.askdrsears.com/html/10/handout1.asp

http://www.naturalchild.org/guest/tami_breazeale.html

http://www.breastfeeding.com/reading_room/co_slepping.html